Round 7 – June 25th – VS Bayhawks
Pre Pre Game (Pub Crawl)
The annual Pub crawl was held last week on Saturday Afternoon. It started with some fabulous costumes and hard core shuffle board at the legion. Darren had what could only be described, as the hottest (OK only) Felt suit going around, we’re pretty sure he picked it up in Milan. Everyone could see what Krazy ate for dinner the night before, with some extremely tight 80’s footy shorts. Gav and Arch went with fluro pink, and it really suited them. Boz hair was styled in an amazing 80’s style (he actually commented he just woke up that way) and he was sporting double denim.
There were many highlights, a lot too racy for an online post. Gav and John looked like they had never played the matt game, and were quite inebriated by 2pm. Kewi was caught reliving himself in public, but the offices couldn’t understand him, so he was released. He promptly used his newly found freedom to fall asleep in a pub holding a tree, it was very fung suai. TD smashing everyone’s egg like a psychopath, then winning the Parent game. Priya and Lucy winning the 3 legged race, an embarrassing all the boys. Krazy trying to win the 3 legged race at all cost, and severely injuring Jess’ leg with massive bruise. Gav tipping Beer on Colgate, Colgate crying like a little girl! The unhighlight was Marcin failing to dress up (we hear eastern Europeans are hot, give us a look!) The boys headed to the Sin bin for Wardies b’day, and Simo stated a countdown only to have it actually pegged to his back, what a loser.
Game Report Round 7 vs Bayhawks
Round 7 was the highly anticipated Ladies day. Vancouver turned out one of the more average Van days, with Rain, Sun, Rain, Sun. It was great to see so many partners out supporting their big strong men. The first game was Eagles V Saints. The Saints came out of the block, and were looking very strong to knock off the ladder leaders. It turned into a scrappy affair in the wet, and the Eagles game back strong, with Lulu lemon dominating CHF and not letting the ball out without a score.
I do have to say, one man, a great man, played extremely well for the Saints. Said man will remain unmentioned, but I would like to offer him a full apology for any negative mentions I have made against him. I shall never again take your name in vain sir, for you are one who should be worshiped. He is truly one of the greats, a Gladiator if you will, of our time. He kicked 5 goals for the Saints, with some coming outside 40 in the wet, all on one leg. He had once again pulled his hamstring chasing some boys who touched his balls. Golf balls that is. Well played Sir!
Pre Game
The pre game started on a sad note with Arches last game. The boys were all revved up to put a win on the board for the big man. Coach Boz tried to get the boys to switch on, with some day dreaming (about their precious ladies), and skills looking poor. Sadly this would be a prophetic window into the next 2 hours. Unfortunately with all the Irish lads out, probably having a Guinness, the boys were down to only 8 CI’s. We also lost Rocket, who ate, quote, “3 donuts“ before the game, and literally (and I don’t mean figuratively!) literally passed out. We all assume rockets lady, Mr Lunch, shed a tear. Monster was a huge (physical and mental…he`s technically a Dr.) inclusion. The Bayhawks had their first full team of the year, which was good to see. Up until this point we all thought Regan was scarring all the players away (with his beastly like appearance). It was going to be a tight match!
1st Quarter
The rain held off for the first quarter, and two of the Cougars First gamers kicked goals. Will (Who reminds me of Robin Hood for some reason, seriously picture him with a bow and arrow and you’ve got Robin Hood!) kicked a great one on the run. Then New-Ryan (which should be his name forever, even though he won the kicking comp against one who has ‘no name’, and won the rights to his name) took a great pack mark and finished off. The Bayhawks could only manage 3 points, but were dominating at times. The backline did a fantastic Job keeping the Hawks goalless lead by new player Darren at CHB, taking some great pack marks, generally looking like a monster and smashing some packs open. Teddy and Kewi battled well. Kewi did get pulled up a few times for holding, but I`m pretty sure he was just making a move (kewis can be rough) on his opposite. The boys went in up by 11pts.
2nd Quarter
The second quarter started with a rev up from Boz focusing the boys on skill errors. Arch in his last game was dominating the center, such a powerful man, we will miss his hugs. Almost-first gamer Turfs (like grass – you see) was taking pack marks everywhere, launching the cougars into attack. Crazy, Will, and Boz were doing a fantastic job dominating the center and pushing the ball forward. Unfortunately that is where the cougars fell flaccid. It felt like the forwards needed a Viagra to get some straightness back! The boys managed to score more by kicking points. We kicked 10 points 1 goal. Gav was the mature (and sexy) player (I think he actually looks a bit like Clark Kent and Jess looks quite like Lois Lane) that settled us with a goal. The Bayhawks capitalised and kicked 2 goals 1, with 3 inside 50 entries for the quarter. Monster was subbed on (for a poor Simo aka Mini Me) and clocked his three hits for the game (I think Monster would have to be the Hulk!). The Cougs went in up by 8 pts.
3rd Quarter
Unsurprisingly coach Boz once again focused on skills, taking your time, and making sure of your chance (much like the advice he would give when pulling a lady!) Luckily Ash turned up (he was suppose to be at a wedding – now thats commitment (and also looks like superman)) to add much needed force to the forward line. But the boys just couldn’t seem to pickup. Darren (who I think would have to be batman!) tired to lift the team with a hip n shoulder that was felt in Japan. Gav, once again was faster than a speeding bullet, kicked the only goal for the quarter. Many of the boys chipped in with single units, we kicked 6 points. It seemed in the boys eagerness, they were all spilling prematurely (get it!) into forward line and cluttering things up. I can honestly say it took everyone in the team to get 5 goals 18 points. Once again the young-uns of the Hawks kicked two goals straight, and the Cougs went in 8 pts up.
4th Quarter
Once again the speech was all about skills. God help the ladies who the boys were going home with; at this rate they probably wouldn’t even be able to unbuckle their bra! The Hawks kicked the first 2 goals of the quarter in quick succession, and the Cougs were down for the first time! This is when the backline came into their own, with Macca (who is probably GI JOE) taking some unbelievable pack marks and using his strong boys to advantage. Teddy (who could possibly be Spiderman) backed up and saved us on the goal line with some great man on man (not like that, sorry teddy) defensive work. It felt at times like the Cougars were destined to lose with Matty H kicking directly into the post from 3 mtrs out. The cougars started to dominate the center clearances with Hamish Archibald (who is the superhero Big head! (I know you all know Bighead) palming the ball to a running Krazy (aka FLASH!)who pumped the ball forward. Turfs did a Leigh Matthews and torpedoed the ball from 85mtrs out (may be a slight exaggeration as the field isn’t even that long) it cleared a pack of 50 players (another slight exaggeration) and fell into the hands of Matty Harrison, who actually looked like he was asleep. It took Matty, what felt like 3 minutes to wake up, grab the ball and kick the goal. I think someone may have had a large night!. We then turned it on with Johnyboy, Will, Gav all kicking goals. The boys ran out winners. A lot can be said for how the Hawks played with their first full list, they could certainly be dark horses come finals!
Coach Boz reminded us all that without all the points we would have actually lost! Great positivity from Coach (HE MAN – with that hair he defiantly is!) Boz. The two biggest boys, Gav and Monster tried to carry Arch off, and nearly dropped him on his head. Mmmm I wonder why Arch nearly fell, it couldn’t have been that gigantic oversized head could it? I guess we’ll never know.
Post Game (Mahoneys Ladies day function!)
Boz made what could only be call, the most humorous speech at BC footy to date (he did let on later that some of the Jokes may have been pre-meditated!). He obviously focused on our poor goal kicking performance, stating, “Gav kicked 3 goals 56 points”. However this reporter got an inside scoop, with Gav whining, “I only kicked 2 points, Darren and Matt must have had 15 between the”. And the blame game had begun. Please let us know Gav how it feels to stab your teammates in the back. To even things out Gav’s misses Jess did win the $25 gift voucher at Mahoneys.
Goal Scores: Gav 3, Will 2, Ryan, John, Matt – 1 (one we are missing one gaol scorer!)
Best: Macca, Turfs, Krazy, Darren, Teddy
Thanks to Grilzzy and LuLu, and Macca for umpiring! Thanks for all the ladies who supported us even though the weather was poor. Thanks a lot to Mahoney’s for supporting us and allowing us the space to celebrate.